How to Be a Good Boyfriend
Knowing how to be a good boyfriend can make a relationship much more of a pleasant experience. In general, attempt to see things through your girlfriend’s eyes before and after you do or say something. Love requires no effort, only acceptance, relationships on the other hand, require understanding and patience.
1- Be honest. How many films have you seen where the lead character would have been in so much less trouble with his girlfriend if he had only told her the truth from the start?! Often, the cover up is much more hurtful than the actual incident in question. Also be honest with how you feel and what you’re thinking. Being truthful may seem like the difficult thing to do when bringing up awkward situations, and your girlfriend may not react well to it at first, if at all. Being truthful however, is always better in the long run.
2- Be weary of ‘how you tell the truth’. There are certain ways of communicating things that will be less hurtful. Say for example that your girlfriend sometimes has bad breath. She may not be aware of it although it is something that is really testing your attraction to her. Don’t stage the issue like a huge intervention, instead, pick a moment when she feels comfortable and relaxed and, without dramatic pause, carefully mention it in passing. She will of course be a little upset, however dealing with it in less of a dramatic way will help her to not develop an insecurity over the issue, yet still encourage her to do something about it.
3- Communicate. Communicate about everything. Foster a ‘talk about it sooner rather than later’, environment. Learn to be comfortable about talking about sex. Find out what she likes (not during sex as this can often kill the moment), and do it for her.
4- Make physical contact. Although you may feel slightly strange about contact in public, do not shy away from it. She needs to feel that you’re not ashamed of her. Saying this however, do not smother her in public either- find balance.
5- Do not be jealous, and do not stand for it back. You being jealous is your insecurity, your problem. Deal with it before it drives you apart. If you seriously cannot trust your girlfriend, don’t be with her. Period. If she has an issue with the way that you interact with women, assure her that they are only your friends and that you are not interested in them. Be clear that you will not put up with her being jealous of other girls.
6- Give her space. She may sometimes want to see her other friends or even want time alone. When you love someone, it is difficult not to be around them all of the time. Should you be finding that you are always the one calling her up and pressuring to spend time together, take up another hobby or sport. Being needy is unattractive and will ruin your relationship.
7- Girls often need reassurance. Compliment sincerely even if you think that she should already know how you feel about her.
8- Be supportive. If something is a big deal to her, make it a big deal for you as well. Be passionate about her passions, this, in turn, will make her passionate about you.
9- Be empathetic. Girls are often more in touch with their emotions than men. Be understanding and adjust your tone and volume of voice to meet her feelings. Do not simply tell her that she’s “being ridiculous and should stop crying”. It is a typical, and honourable, male reflex to try and immediately fix the problem for her. Right at this moment however, she doesn’t want that, instead she wants you to understand how she feels and to be there for her as she clears her emotions.
10- Your girlfriend will deliberately, although subconsciously, be annoying, hassling or nagging, if she feels like she’s being neglected. Pay her attention to make it stop rather than ignoring her further.
11- You are equal. Remember that. If you do not feel equal with this person, do not be with them. If you feel too good or not good enough, this is your issue. Either move on, or deal with it and treat your girlfriend with the respect that she deserves.
12- Although it is advisable to never go to bed on an argument, do not feel like you have to have your ‘discussion’ live and in the moment. If the argument is heated, calmly say that you should both calm down and talk about it later. Be specific with the time of when to talk about it, and follow through with the suggestion.
13- Do not stick to routine. Do not stick to routine in dates, your conversations, but most importantly, in your sex life. Be attractive to her by injecting new life into the relationship. Find new things for you both to do together, also, take her by surprise sexually.
Be friendly with her friends. Having their support can greatly help you in the long run, and they will provide you with insight into how she’s feeling.
Presents do not need to be expensive, just thoughtful. Remember key dates such as your anniversary or Valentine ’s Day.