How to Give Someone a Hickey
Whether you’re marking your lover as ‘yours’, are caught in the throes of passion, or simply think that it would be funny to send your partner off back into the public with a great big red stamp on their neck (or elsewhere), the following steps will guide you through the perfect love bite.
1- Make sure you have consent, be it implied or overt! Believe it or not, not many people are that keen receiving an immovable mark that advertises to everyone that they’re just been involved in a huge make-out session! Build up some passion; French kiss, caress and lay light kisses around the neck and collar bone before heating things up, by pulling lightly on the back of their hair, pulling their hips closer to yours etc.
2- Be confident, go in for the kill. Making a big deal of it really kills the atmosphere. Whether moving towards any milestone in your sex life, or simply getting to know a new partner, never make a big deal of it, instead be sensitive to any cues that they may not yet be comfortable or ready. Gradually progress things, but if you are pushed away or your partner pulls away, take that as a “no” at least for that make-out session. Do not become despondent or sulky as this will hinder progress, simply continue with what you had been doing beforehand.
3- Be considerate of the location of your hickey. As you haven’t asked permission it is best to have an appreciation of your partner’s attitude towards public awareness of her involvement with you. Don’t mark your partner in a ridiculously obvious place if you know that they’d be embarrassed about it. This would not do you any favours!
4- Place your lips on their neck and part them slightly. Understand that to give a hickey you have to provide suction on the skin. The wider your lips are placed, the wider the hickey will be, however as there will be less pressure exerted, there will be less suction and therefore less profound a mark. It is best to go small. Press your lips into the skin and establish a good airtight seal. For the purpose of pleasure, keep your mouth supple.
5- Suck at the skin. The harder you suck, the more capillaries you will break under the skin, however the more intense the pain will be for your partner. 75% for a longer period usually works for me. Keep your teeth out of the way!
6- You can revisit the mark to make it more profound so don’t feel like you need to do it all in one go! Be aware that you may have left a little saliva on the mark so subtly wipe it away when your lips part from the neck.
7- When finished, continue making out and wait for the hickey to raise, similar to a bruise, between 5 to 10 minutes later. Again, you can still revisit the spot if the mark is not profound enough.
To heal a hickey, treat it like a normal bruise. Use ice or a very cold object, and rub very lightly to reduce the swelling and to encourage the blood to move around the damaged area.