How to Say “I Love You”
O.K. dudes, bit of a wet one here, but to be honest, knowing how to say “I love you” will be something that pretty much every single one of us will have to deliver upon at some stage in our life. Whether it be because we just need to get off our chests how we feel, or you’ve heard these words said to you countless times already and now the pressure is too great to ignore them without reciprocation any longer, here are a couple of ideas about how to deliver.
1- Have a little think about what it is you feel and whether other people would define this as love. The Sober Drunken Ramblings of a Prominent Nobody by Jay Mackie, has some great insight into what love means in this contemporary world, and is certainly worth a peep in this regards.
2- Think about how do you love this person. Is it a romantic love, a love for a friend, or a love for a family member? Defining the type of love that you feel will help you with delivery.
3- Ponder over how they might react when you tell them. Is this person expecting these words from you? If they are, they will be much easier to deliver, you just need to feel comfortable using them. If they’re not expecting these words i.e. a friend that you’ve developed feelings for, be sure to weigh out the pros and cons before confessing your undying love to them- is there a better way to pursue a romantic relationship with them without risking your friendship or putting them off by being too forward (and there is a good chance that you will put them off by being too forward!).
4- Find the appropriate moment. Do not stage the words or set a premise as this will most likely make the situation slightly awkward. The words are much better delivered on the tail end of a poignant moment that you’ve shared together, even if it’s just after the end of a particularly enjoyable day together. Do not force the words if the situation isn’t right.
5- Make eye contact. Eye contact indicates sincerity and communicates trust. Physical contact is also desirable. Don’t stare for too long however, as you may start to make the other person nervous.
6- Deliver the words with confidence and poise and not in a way that creates pressure. Do not say the words and then stare blankly at that person waiting for a response. You’re meant to be delivering the words so that you can communicate your feelings for them, not so that you can hear the words back. As soon as you say it, smile and then continue with what you’re doing. If they want to say the words back to you they will in their own time.
7- Follow through on your words. Actions speak louder than words, so behave accordingly. Small gestures in passing work best and won’t pressurise the situation.
Saying I love you is not an apology. Learn to apologise properly!
Do you love the person or the situation/relationship? There’s a difference so be fair to your counterpart before leading them along.
Don’t say the words for the first time when you’re drunk! It’s cheap.